Ken Huey 0:00

Welcome to The Voice of Hope, where bold leaders and healers share how they're building hope, not just talking about it. I'm Dr. Ken Huey. Let's meet the changemakers transforming lives from the therapy room to the boardroom. Today's guest is Dr. Cindy M. Howard. She's a keynote speaker, an author, a wellness advocate, and a founder of the Positively Altered Project. With decades of experience as a chiropractic internist, functional nutritionist, and practice owner, Dr. Howard blends science, strategy, and personal experience to help individuals and organizations cultivate resilience, joy, and well-being. An award-winning author, Positively Altered, finding happiness at the bottom of a chemo bag. She inspires audiences worldwide with her message that healing and happiness are choices we make every day. Through her speaking, consulting, and leadership, Dr. Howard empowers people to thrive even in the midst of challenges. Dr. Howard, good to have you with us. Thanks.

Dr. Cindy Howard 1:01

Oh my gosh, Ken, thank you. What a gift today is.

Ken Huey 1:04

Yeah. Well, uh Cindy, so I'm always fascinated to know what brings you here. Meaning this stage of your career, kind of your why. What is the thing that motivates you that has you doing this work?

Dr. Cindy Howard 1:17

Boredom, of course. No, I'm just teasing. So, you know, I needed something new and exciting to do, Ken. So we've got to shift into a new activity. But really, I'm going to give you the cliche answer. You're Eddie? It's the typical cliche answer, and that is if we can affect one person in a positive way to do something better, bigger, bolder, different, that's what we're here for, right? It's to inspire others through our own personal journey in order to help facilitate their journey to do it in a way that they've always wanted to do it and just didn't know how to on their own, potentially.

Ken Huey 1:52

Fantastic, Cindy. Thank you. So you talk often about choosing happiness in the middle of a challenge. Speak to us about that philosophy.

Dr. Cindy Howard 2:02

Yeah, it really came out of really science, if you think about it, because when we look at the neurophysiology of the brain, we're wired to be negative. It's that we were scanning for predators back in the day, and we were in this protective mode, and we were thinking of where the evil was going to come from in order to survive. So we're wired in this fashion to think negatively. And the negativity bias that we sit in, I find, especially in today's world, is just really detrimental. So that science was really the impetus through my own self-diagnosis of Hodgkin's lymphoma to say, you know what? I have to purposely with intent make a conscious decision to rewire my thought process to one of positivity so that I didn't sit in this doom and gloom of the poor me, the why me, what did I do wrong in my world to welcome this? And it was that impetus of understanding that it's not my fault when I think negatively. We just sort of wake up doing that. But yet I'm responsible for my choices, my reactions, and the consequences. So I had to consciously choose to say to my brain, think positively instead of negatively, so that I can get to that space.

Ken Huey 3:09

Yeah. I like what you said, that it's not your fault what's happened to you, but you said it a little differently. But I think that you would say, but essentially it's my responsibility now to deal with that. There's a lack of victimhood that I think comes across in your work in many different ways. What would you say about that?

Dr. Cindy Howard 3:26

Yeah, it's true. And yet it's really easy still, even for me in the space to be the victim, right? It's that why me attitude for the moment. And I think it's really important to honor a little bit of that too, because then there's this sort of false of like, well, how can she be cheery about bad things that happen to her all of the time, right? There's this lack of sincerity when the reality is we do have those moments that we feel sorry for ourselves or we question the adversity in our life. But to live in that space is very detrimental and that lessens our immune system and it causes inflammation and mood disorders and depression, all of those rabbit holes that we go down when we spend time in that victim mentality become very dangerous for our own personal well-being. So it's that that conscious decision again to say, yes, it's happening to me. Yes, I had no control over the adversity. And by the way, it's coming again because I don't know how to live the rest of my life without another bad thing happening. But almost walking through my day with open arms, saying, Okay, I'm ready. Like if you bring it this time, I know how to face it. And each time the adversity comes, I know how to face it a little bit better because now I've got lots of experience doing it.

Ken Huey 4:36

So choosing a positive reaction, choosing a mindset surely is a part of what you're trying to do to help people on this planet. Okay. Your own cancer diagnosis certainly influenced this. Talk about how that shaped resilience for you.

Dr. Cindy Howard 4:53

Yeah, cancer is a pretty scary word to a lot of people, and it was to me as well. And it was even weirder because I self-diagnosed. So, you know, usually you get to sit across the table from another physician who delivers the bad news. I got to read my own bad news, which is very very strange. But it was important because in dealing with something life-threatening, I could have lost. I mean, I could not be here to even share the mission and the story, I could have easily lost. And without a proper mindset, we can all be negative and still overcome illness. I'm not saying that you you always lose with that regard. But if the challenge was to get on the other side of this healthy and better, I didn't see how to do that with a negative mindset. And that comes actually from almost three decades of working with patients. There's a unique thing that happens, I think, for a lot of us as practitioners when we sit across a desk with a patient trying to figure out what their wants, their needs, and their expectations are for health and recognizing that there's a handful of patients we will meet. And unfortunately, I hate to say this out loud, but they just won't get better. So it doesn't matter the tests I run, it doesn't matter the tools I have, it doesn't matter the people I refer them to, they just won't get better because mentally they don't have the mindset to choose to get better. That victim mortality almost gives them self-esteem. It gives them something to lean into. In a weird way, it actually provides value in their life, sometimes for attention. And it's a very dangerous place, in my opinion, to live because then you can't get out of it in a positive way. And sometimes, unfortunately, people survive decades and decades in that space from a life or death situation. So for me, being faced with something that that really could have killed me, it was almost essential to shift that mindset, understanding that like I'm not going to take my chance toying with something that really could end my life.

Ken Huey 6:46

You emphasize the nervous system's role in healing. How do you know the nervous system is out of balance?

Dr. Cindy Howard 6:53

Oh, well, first thing is probably even just fatigue. When you're exhausted, that's probably a really good sign. The inability to sleep, the inability emotionally to look after that spin, muscle aches and pains. Chronic pain starts to actually creep in when there's no even good reason for chronic pain. So you kind of wake up with that achy inability to get out of bed, and yet there's no disease process that you're aware of, right? Or injury that could have caused that. I think a lot of those are some really good signs. The other thing that is really a trigger for me that I see a lot is people who get sick really often. You're under a lot of stress, you seem to catch the common cold that somebody has near you or get run down really easily. When you get sick, it's really hard to get out of that. You might spend weeks where somebody can recover in 24 hours. So it's also the ability to recover from anything, injury or illness, that sometimes can let you know that you're really depleted.

Ken Huey 7:47

You also speak about emotional regulation a great deal. So being emotionally regulated as a core principle of healing, how do you know whether you're emotionally regulated and whether or not you're reacting to stress or responding to it correctly?

Dr. Cindy Howard 8:03

Yeah, that's a loaded question. And I think it's a really, really difficult one. A reaction usually seems a little bit more abrupt, quick quick to just get angry or say something, you later think, oh, there might have been a better way to phrase that or approach that, versus a mindfulness where when something happens, if I can take the time and really sit in it for a minute and say, where is the challenge in this? Where is the gift in this? What do I hope the outcome will actually be? The mindfulness of that to then respond to that action is much healthier for me than the quick off the fly type of reaction. And most of the time, I know personally, I don't know how others feel, but personally I usually regret them. That's the oh too quick to come up to it with an answer that doesn't always feel good when you really think back on the actual event as well. So I think it's important to revisit some of the reactions that we have and say, how did that resonate later? Do I feel good about it? Or if I had a do-over, what would I have done a little bit differently? And if you're constantly thinking, oh, if I had a do-over, there was a better opportunity, we might be too quick in some of those choices.

Ken Huey 9:17

You've keynoted any number of times and you speak frequently there about humor and vulnerability. Fantastic. So talk about that as a tool in mental and emotional health.

Dr. Cindy Howard 9:28

It makes people comfortable, right? Like, I mean, I'll make fun of myself before I'll make fun of anybody else. And I sometimes make fun of other people, but that's not a choice intentionally, right? It's a group vulnerability sometimes. But when I can be self-deprecating and share something I did that's ridiculous or what others might think is embarrassing, especially if we've all had those activities and laugh out loud, it allows other people to feel comfortable about their insecurities and their challenges in a way that almost gives them permission to laugh as well. And I think we sit in this space of judgment too frequently, too often, about how perfect we need to be, behave, and the things we need to say, instead of giving ourselves the grace to just have the freedom to go, oh, that came out ridiculous, or this seemed a little weird to other people, and just having the laughter on it. So it creates this comfort in a room, whether it's three people or three thousand people, you know, to let them know we're all at the same place, right? We're all in the same space, we all have similar challenges, and you know what? It's okay.

Ken Huey 10:34

All right. So I hear some folks get frustrated with the idea that focusing on mental health, you you talk about connection and what people's connections are. It's sort of uh resources that they have relative to that. And I'll have people sometimes get frustrated and talk about I'm trying to take care of myself first. I need a relationship with myself before I'm connected with others. And I I struggle with that concept because I just believe that connection is really where the happiness lies. Reflect on that, not that I've given the right answer, just what do you think about that idea?

Dr. Cindy Howard 11:04

Yeah, the first thing I thought of when you said that is actually I feel that I work better on myself within that connection and that relationship. It actually gives me more opportunities. It's almost like this trial and error thing when you're in a relationship with somebody, any type of relationship, right? To experiment a little bit. And I get more personal growth from those challenges and the conversations with people sometimes that are hard or sad or emotional on either side, than just sitting in a room and self-reflecting and going, okay, how do I become a better version of me? And not that that's not important to my quiet personal time. But my greatest growth comes from challenges and opportunities with others.

Ken Huey 11:46

All right. How about one small trick, one behavioral shift someone can use when they're stuck in survival mode?

Dr. Cindy Howard 11:57

Oh, let's see. When they're stuck in survival mode, it makes me think of an exercise that I do personally and I love to recommend, and it's called my I am statements. And it's as simple as you take out a piece of paper and you write a bunch of I am statements that a lot of people will tell me aren't true, but I'm gonna tell you they become your truth of what it is you want to be, feel, look like. So like, I am health, happy, I am healthy, I am sexy, I am beautiful, I am smart, I am rich, I am whatever it is. It doesn't matter. I am statements. I am a beautiful partner, I'm a wonderful friend, I'm a great practitioner. I am statements. And I get a lot of pushback for that because people are like, well, but some of those are lies. And I think, well, but is it the lie that you tell your brain that your brain believes, or is it the truth that you tell your brain that the brain believes? So all of those I am statements, when you're stuck in sort of this like, okay, I gotta get through this mode, if we can perpetuate and tell our brain exactly where we're sitting versus I am in survival, I am thriving, right? Like I love that word. I am thriving. Even if I just woke up in the morning and said I'm thriving instead of surviving, the brain's perception of the positivity of that word thriving versus the negativity of surviving. And again, surviving sometimes can be good, but I know what you know what you're alluding to. Now we rewire the brain's ability to think in that positive state. So it's the I am planting of the seed to the brain to teach the brain to think exactly what you want it to think because it does think exactly what we say.

Ken Huey 13:28

All right. So stress response, and then what we could do for that. What about chronic stress? It's kind of a silent epidemic. What's a simple strategy to reduce the impact of that chronic stress?

Dr. Cindy Howard 13:39

Yeah, this one's super easy. It's free, and you can do it almost anywhere. I need you to sit and I need you to breathe. I just need you to breathe, right? Legs uncrossed, shoulders back. Look, see, I was already slumping, shoulders back, legs straight, quiet space, eyes closed, remove all of the sensory input from around you, and just very slow. And I know there's a million different how many counts you should take to breathe and how long to hold the breath, doesn't matter. Just close your eyes and just good, deep, cleansing breaths brings oxygen to the tissue, resets the adrenal glands. Even if you're doing it right now, just listening to us, I bet within two or three breaths you can feel a difference in how you feel. And when I say you can do it almost anywhere, just don't do it while you're driving. I always tell people, don't close your eyes, don't breathe while you're driving, pull over on the side of the road. But it's a great tool because really you don't need anything expensive. You don't need to excuse yourself. I tell people, go to the bathroom, nobody needs to know what you're doing in there anyway. Just, you know, sit on the toilet and take a couple deep breaths, even if you don't want people to see you. It's probably the single most powerful tool that I know of to help lower stress level and put you on the right path.

Ken Huey 14:51

Gosh, it's fascinating to hear that. I stumbled on Eckhart Tolle 15 years ago, I suppose. That's about right. And just it was so simple. Just pay close attention to the breezing and it's this whole way to get into this now, you know, the power of now. And slow yourself down and feel some comfort and calm. I think that's a fantastic description of what to do. Thank you. That's great.

Dr. Cindy Howard 15:16

Yeah, you know, if you don't mind, because I'd love to expand on that a little bit. I think part of the issue we have so many challenges is exactly that we don't focus on the now in this moment, right? It's what are we gonna do tomorrow? What's the next vacation? How did I screw up yesterday at work? What's gonna happen for after dinner time? Instead of like right now, in this moment, you and I are having a conversation. What can we benefit from learning from each other right now versus what you have to do in an hour and what I have to do in an hour? And if we can shift out of that, because that hour is gonna come no matter what we do. Your hour is gonna show up, my hour is gonna show up. But right in this moment, to just stop and appreciate the gift of whatever it is you're in also helps to reset that. And he coined it as the you know, is the power of now, and it's a beautiful sentiment that most of us don't live in.

Ken Huey 16:08

Yeah. And just a little reflect, we'll edit this out, I'm sure. But I I just I stumble on him, and then I've got this place in Missouri that's a 12-hour drive from where I was living in Colorado, and I listened to him and Oprah Winfrey for 12 hours straight. Okay. And by the end of that, I was like, I get it. I understand what he's trying to say, and then just practiced it. It took three or four months to get any good at slowing down and listening to my own breath and letting go of everything else going on. And I got to where within 60 seconds to 120 seconds, I could put myself to sleep at night using just breathing. So anyway, thanks. That's fun.

Dr. Cindy Howard 16:45

Yeah, an interesting exercise that I went through personally, where somebody had once asked me, when's the last time you had fun? And it took me a long time to actually answer that question, which led me on a cascade of a lot of choices in my life. But what I realized, because I started to ask other people that question, I was curious what I would get, is that most people are looking for that big thing. Oh, the last time I had fun was, you know, the vacation to Mexico or this big party that the corporation threw or whatever it was. And my answers have become like the last time I had fun might have actually just been right now, right? Or my last event an hour ago, or my sales meeting that I had, because you learn to find those little joys in that moment versus waiting for this big massive thing to occur. And when we wait for this big massive thing to occur, I think we're commonly let down.

Ken Huey 17:35

All right. Let's think a little bit, if we could, about failure, about adversity. What advice would you give as to how to reframe failure and adversity into a growth experience or a positive outcome instead of a mental health burden?

Dr. Cindy Howard 17:49

Yeah, welcome it. Welcome it. Open your arms. I used to joke when I had my very first huge financial failure, which was a house rehab gone bad to the tune of $96,000 in the hole that I had to dig myself out of. It was amazing how I said, if you look at all of the people that run around the world talking about financial success, they've all had that failure story. And it's that ability to recognize that there's so much to learn from it. And even more importantly, I think the fact that you can get out of it, you can recover from it, right? Like knowing as a human being that no matter how bad it is, I can claw my way out of that divot in order to get on the other side. That now it almost becomes exciting. So, I mean, nobody's gonna sit here and go, I can't wait, like, bring me the adversity, right? Like, I don't literally mean like I can't wait for more bad stuff to happen. But when it does, it's that approach of, okay, what can I learn? Because I really believe that we get handed some of these things because there are things we still need to learn. And I obviously didn't learn it from the last event. What can I take from that event to get through this one better? And hopefully I've nailed it to where the next adversity is completely different because I've got my lesson and my experience. But I think there's this huge mental disconnect between saying it's a bad event and running down that poor me versus it's a bad event. And look at how good I can get over this and how strong I can be as a result of this. And who can come aid me, right? When I ask for help, like where is my team as well? And who are the people I can count on? And at the same time, the people I can't count on, right? There's lots of gifts in that space that if we welcome it, don't ask for it, but welcome it when it shows up with that attitude of, I got this. If you think about athletes, right, who are trying to obtain something they've never done, the faster speed, the higher jump, the more points per game that they've ever gotten. It seems like at some point we should have reached that number where nobody can exceed it. And yet records are broken every single day, every single day that seem really impossible to the average human being. And why are they broken? Because they believe they could do it. Because they learned from the last obstacle that they overcame how to do it just a little bit better, faster, stronger. And all of our junk is the same way. It's no different than the athlete that wants to break that personal record. We can do it bigger, better, stronger if we can actually see that we can break that record. And you find something, you know, for me, athletics play a huge, it's been a big part of my life, but I think that's the key is find something you can almost equate that adversity to that is good, right? So an athlete achieving that goal, an Olympic medal, whatever it is, is something that most people would say is fantastic. Find something to correlate that adversity to and challenge yourself in that same way you would as if you were going for that Olympic gold medal.

Ken Huey 20:52

I was I moved to Missouri and I play racquetball at a high level, and there were three guys that were close to my level, but I they just couldn't beat me. And I knew I had to hold them down. I for one year I beat them without failing. And I tried so hard because I knew as soon as they won a game, it was all over. Sure enough, one of them beat me one game, and then all of them had beat me within a month or two, and then I still would win a little more than them, but they they were beating me all the time and just knowing they could do it. So I hear what you're saying.

Dr. Cindy Howard 21:21

Yeah, and you know what? It's actually great for both of you. It's great for them, right? Because they proved to themselves they can do it. But now maybe there's a goal for you, right? That you wouldn't have searched so hard to obtain because it was just so easy to beat them all along. And now you know when the challenge comes your way of somebody who's working really hard to get their skill up, you can do it too. Yeah, that's really fun.

Ken Huey 21:44

So, Cindy, you know, you make an impact on this planet in a lot of wonderful ways. And people are gonna listen to this and think, okay, what how do I learn more about her? What do I do to follow her? Tell us what to do to get hold of you.

Dr. Cindy Howard 21:56

Oh, well, there's lots of ways. So I'm on all social media. You can check me out at Dr. Dr. Cindy Speaks. That's really the handle. I'm on Facebook and Instagram, you know, all the usual suspects. You can check out the website at drsindyspeaks.com. And there's an area on the website where if you want to sign up for what I call my not so daily dose newsletter, because we love for you to be a part of the community, but we don't email you every day so that you don't get overly bombarded with emails. That's another great place. The book is called Positively Altered, Finding Happiness at the Bottom of a Chemo Bag. And if you want to learn a little bit more about my life, but mostly laugh and gain some positive insight, it's a really easy, good read. You can even pick out your favorite chapter. You don't even have to read the whole book. Amazon. And for those of you that don't read, because I know there's some of you out there that don't enjoy that, there's also the audio version. And then I'm running around the country speaking, and I don't know where I am next at the time that this gets broadcast. But if you check out the website, usually those things will be there.

Ken Huey 22:54

Well, fantastic. There's kind of a resonance, a quality to love and connection and caring that brings out more of that. And you're out there creating that energy. Seriously, thank you for what you do. Thanks for joining us on The Voice of Hope. If you were inspired, share the light. And remember, hope's not just a feeling, it's a force. We'll see you next time.